Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Messed up

I'm so furious right now, I don't even know what to do with myself.  So I'll blog, and pretend like someone is listening! 

My older brother John is getting married in a few weeks, and I just found out my brother David (the one 13 months younger than me) isn't coming.  John asked him to be one of the groomsmen in his wedding, and he said no--that he wasn't coming.  He said that he's been a "bad brother", whatever that means.  Who cares?!  It's his wedding! And just for the record, he isn't a bad brother.

I texted him tonight to see if it was really true, and it really is...so, so sad.  He said, "Why would I want to?" and "...even if I had the time off of work why would I wanna spend money on a plane ticket for HIM?" I told him it didn't matter if he was a "bad brother", he's still our brother and it would mean a lot to everyone if he was there.  He replied, "Not for him. Whatever." UNBELIEVABLE.  Why is my family so messed up?

John is the only one of my brothers who has cleaned up his act, gone on a mission, and is going to be married in the temple.  If anything he's a good example to my younger three brothers, and they should be quick to follow him.  But no, instead this is what happens.

I told Dave if Dad were still here, I'm sure that he would want him to be there too.  His reply, "nice try."  How am I related to these people?  Obviously not everyone is always the perfect sibling, but they're still family, and you should be there for your family.  It's bad enough my Dad won't be there, and now this.  How unbelievably selfish can one person be?  I can't even imagine how my Mom feels.

Speaking of my Dad...
As soon as I opened their announcement I burst into tears.  I didn't even think about what the invitation would say.  I didn't stop crying for hours.  I knew he wasn't going to be there all along, but somehow it hurts a little more seeing it on paper.  

At this point I feel like a mad, disappointed, and sad big sister.  This is not the person my parents raised.  Who is this selfish person also known as my brother?  Unbelievable.

2 comments:

chelse said...

becky I'm super sorry! One day he will grow up and realize what an idiot he is! Also, sorry about the announcement. Ya it's hard seeing pictures and reading, for some reason it hits a different feeling. On my announcements I didn't put "late" I just put his name like he was going to be there because it was too hard. He'll still be there. You'll feel him in the temple!

Drew and Kayla Starbuck said...

We ALL come from messed up families! I'm so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. I follow your blog faithfully and I love reading it! It's so real and makes me feel normal! haha. We love you guys!