This picture is from my Dad's funeral. These are my Mom's brothers and sister that were able to come. They're all in line from oldest to youngest starting at the left. My Uncle Daniel is fourth from the left.
My Uncle Daniel reminded me a lot of my Dad. They were both dentists, both very soft spoken, both spiritual giants, both wonderful fathers, both very passive, and both had goofy looking glasses. :) I can't imagine what an awful year it's been for my Mom. First losing her husband, and then her closet brother...all within 7 months of each other. My Uncle had cancer for a number of years, making him suffer much longer than any person should. The doctors told him he didn't have much time left, and my Mom drove as fast as she could to Mississippi to say goodbye to her wonderful brother.
My Mom asked my brothers and I to go the funeral with her. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not. I knew it was going to be hard, bringing up some memories/emotions that were all too fresh in my mind. And as immature as this sounds, it really hurt my feelings that none of my cousins came to my Dad's funeral. My Dad played a role in a lot of their lives, and it really would have meant a lot to see them there. I also have had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship with some of my cousins, and I didn't know if I wanted to revisit any of those issues. We would also have to drive through the night, which I am never a fan of. However my 20 yr old brother Daniel that lives with us embarked some words of wisdom on my decision, "Becky you might regret it if you don't go, but you won't regret it if you do go." Who knew such immaturity could bring such wisdom? Ha ha, love you Dan. So, despite my first instinct, I went.
First of all, Mississippi is awful. Always has been, always will be. Sean refers to it as "the armpit of America". He could not be more right. And of course, I was going there in August-FML. Second, I think that was the closest I ever came to dieing on a road trip. Third, my brothers are all poor and HUGE cheapskates. I'm the only one who has graduated college and has a real job, so all of them mooch off of me. So guess who paid for the gas? And yes, I drove three of them there, awesome.
We had to be at the church for the funeral service within 90 minutes of our arrival, not leaving much time for a nap, or for getting ready. Most of the encounters with my cousins were awkward, as expected. Just as I had thought, my brothers all ditched me leaving me all alone...shocker. The funeral was awful, it was so so sad. My little brother Dan was sobbing almost the entire time. It's not really that sad when I cry (it happens a lot), but when he cries...it just kills me. He just kept saying how much he missed our Dad, and how sad he was that he was gone. I miss him too. And just as I had thought, going to Uncle Daniel's funeral brought back lots of sad memories. I feel like it was just yesterday, we were all sitting in my parent's home ward sobbing while listening to the speakers talk about our Dad. My Uncle Daniel was the last speaker at my Dad's funeral, and that also made it hard to be there.
Did I do the right thing, who knows? Was my Mom happy that I was there? I'm sure she could have cared less. Was it as awful as I thought it was? Absolutely.
I truly look forward to the day when I get to see my sweet Uncle again, along with my Dad. I'm sure they're having a grand ole' time up there without us. Sometimes I wish I was up there with them too, it sure seems a lot easier than being down here, being so sad without them.
At my Dad's funeral was the last time I ever saw my Uncle Daniel. (He's in the back left.)
Sometimes life is just hard. I know I'm just selfish to want my Dad back here. Just like my Uncle Daniel, he suffered a lot too. Now, neither of them are in pain. My Dad always joked that he couldn't wait to have a perfect body, he was sick of being bald! :)
2011 has honestly been one of the worst years for me...I'm so ready for it to be over. Unfortunately a lot of our loved ones are getting older, and it seems like I'm just going to have to get used to these types of events. But until then, 2011-I can't wait for you to be over.