Sunday, July 29, 2012

Too young to die.

  I got some bad news last Thursday.  One of my patients died.  She was only 26 years old.  For the sake of her privacy (and HIPAA) we'll call her "R".

 I am terrible at names, I always have been. So when Paige told me what had happened I instantly searched my mind to try and picture her face.  D Lo (my boss, aka Dr. L) instantly searched online for her obituary and we all read it together.  R's entire family comes to our office, Mom, Dad, brother, Aunt, Uncle...the works.  After seeing her picture on the obituary I remembered who she was.  She was a massage therapist, she had actually given me her number for massages.  I never called her because my bf Sarah is a massage therapist, but she offered it to me so I didn't want to be rude.  During her cleanings we always talked about massages and the importance of them, and I felt like we had a lot that we could talk about. 

I'm 26, so her death put things in perspective really quickly.  She hadn't even started her life yet.  She had never lived on her own, never been married, never graduated college...she had so much more life to live.  She was really only getting started.   

Her family has had a rough time recently.  Her Dad walked out on her Mom (and obviously their family too),  they lost the house, they both have a slew of health problems, her brother is siding with her dad, and her fiance just had broken up with her.  She had some demons of her own, so unfortunately we all assumed suicide.  But, she ended up going in for surgery on a weekend, came home on Monday, and died on Tuesday.  They doctors still don't know the cause of death, they're doing on autopsy.  So, so sad. 

R's poor Mom.  She depended on R for half of their apartment rent, and so she is left in an even worse financial situation.  Her Mom didn't even have money for the funeral, friends and family had to chip in.  That's one of the worst parts about death, dealing with everything afterwards.  Here you are, beside yourself, and all the money you have to spend is ridiculous.  I will never forget how angry I felt sitting in the room with my Mom and little brothers picking out the coffin for my Dad. The stupid salesman selling the coffins was totally taking advantage of my Mom.  All she wanted was the best for my Dad, and all he wanted to do was make the best commission.  It's simply terrible, I honestly don't know how those people sleep at night.  I can't even imagine how R's Mom felt going through all those details. 

Her Aunt, we'll call her "L" came in on Friday for her cleaning.  I knew DLo was going to  ask her about it.  She gave us a lot of details, and it was obvious she was trying to keep it together.  It was a little awkward after he left, and I didn't really know what to say to her.  L turned to me and asked if we were almost done, I assured her we were.  After a few minutes of awkward silence she said, "I wasn't ready to talk about R yet", and then instantly burst into tears.  I did my best to soothe her and told her I could empathize with losing my Dad recently. She looked at me with a sigh of relief and didn't stop talking until the end of the appointment.

 Like I've said before, we're in the club, the dead club.   The terrible club that no one wants to be apart of.  That awful/empathetic feeling, when you know exactly how someone is feeling when they lose a loved one, and you know there's nothing that you can do or say to make it better.  It's basically the suckiest club ever. 

She went on to tell me how even though her dad was 78 and had Alzheimer's disease, losing him was emotionally devastating.  That's the best way I've ever heard anyone describe the feeling, emotionally devastating.  After that we were talking and crying together for the rest of the appointment.  I was wiping her tears and cleaning her teeth all at the same time.  Even though I complain about a lot of my high maintenance patients, I care about a lot of them too.  It's nice being back at an office that appreciates me too. 

As I walked her up to the front desk, I gave her a hug and we shared some last few words and tears.  I told her I would be praying for her and her family, and she thanked me for being so kind.  DLo rushed up to the front after he heard me dismissing her, and told her to wait for a minute.  He rushed back with what appeared to be a check, it was hard to tell.  He put it in an envelope, and told her this was for R's Mom (L's sister).  My heart melted a little bit.  Even though there are some days I want to light my boss on fire, I had never been more proud to work for such a great person. 

I haven't been able to get their family out of my mind for the past few days.  I often wondered why Heavenly Father chooses to take some of his children back to return to him.  Why would he take"R" back?  Why would he take my Dad away from me?  I like to think because they're so much happier and healthier back with him.  They're not suffering anymore, they're finally happy and healthy again.  Why is it fair that so many people who don't appreciate their family members get to keep them?  Why do so many people that have healthy bodies and abuse them so much get to keep them?  It honestly doesn't make sense, and DEFINITELY doesn't seem fair.  The only thing that does make sense to me is that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing.  That he really does have a plan, and that he's not intentionally making us sad, and doesn't really want us to struggle.  There have been many times where I've been the one comforting others, when I myself think I am in need of comforting!  The only thing I can trust in is that,  I know the gospel is true, and I know we will see them again.

I wish it didn't hurt so bad, and I wish others didn't have to hurt so badly...but the only thing that makes me happy is to know that it won't always be like this.  So please hold your loved ones a little closer tonight, and say a little prayer for those who don't have theirs so near.  Rest in peace, R, you are missed and loved by so many...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Life as a sugar momma.

A picture is worth a thousand words.  Sean finally graduated in May with his Bachelor's degree.  Yes, that is the sound of angels singing.  Graduating from college is hard work.  It is definitely something to be commended for.  Everyone always says it will be worth it, but when you're in class wanting to poke your eyes's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I can definitely say it is worth it.

Sean's college career hasn't been the easiest ride.  Obviously being LDS, and serving a full time mission pushed him back two years.  Then Sean took a year off when we got married so that I wouldn't have to work 35+hours a week anymore, and so I wouldn't fail my dental hygiene boards.  I will forever be indebted to him for that, it was the biggest blessing to just be able to study every night and not have to worry about work.  After I graduated (right in the midst of one of our country's worst economic recessions) we moved back to Rexburg so Sean could finish school.  Unfortunately Idaho is the butt hole of America and there are ZERO jobs (even if you're not a dental hygienist).  So we came to Texas in hope of us being able to have a better life for our little family.  I LOVE TEXAS.  Seriously, why don't more people live here?  Finally something seemed to be working out for us...HAHA...wrong again.

Sean was promised by multiple advisors that all of his classes would transfer except for his religion classes...nope, didn't happen.  Sean was only 3-4 semesters away from getting his degree at BYU-Idaho.  It ended up taking 6.  Seriously, he has had some of the WORST advisors at UNT. He was told 2 times that he only needed 1-2 more classes to graduate, then after completing them at the end of the semester(s) and not graduating, he was told he still needed more classes.  There was 3 semesters that were supposed to be his "last semester".  Seriously...transferring schools is awful.  I don't recommend it if you can help it.  Alas, Sean finally graduated in May and that hurdle has been officially jumped.  Even though on the computer it said he was done, I wanted to see it on paper so that if someone happened to change their mind again I would have something to show them.

For those of you who know Sean he is not a flashy person.  He didn't want me to send out graduation announcements (but hello you get free money?!), he didn't want to have any type of graduation party (clearly we are so different, because after I graduated I wanted to shout it from the rooftops), and sadly he didn't want to "walk" and receive his diploma.  His parents wouldn't come out for it anyways, and I guess that's one of the main reasons you do those types of things.  I encouraged him for a little while about doing it, because as any wife probably feels I feel like I earned part of that diploma too!  Sean definitely earned part of mine!  God only knows the things that boy had to put up with while I was studying for boards, I literally have never been more stressed out in my life.  Seriously, I thought I was developing an ulcer.   I am definitely a believer that the whole family is invested in ones diploma.  But after all it was his graduation, and sadly he decided not to take part in it.

So he's graduated, now what?  Everyone knows the reason you become educated and go to college is to get a good job.  One of my biggest issues with "going to college" is that no one really talks about what happens afterwards.  It's so socially acceptable to just "go off to college" after you graduate from high school.  And until you're in your 20 somethings (or older) that's all we've ever  Like a lot of people, I went to college straight out of high school to college and graduated at 22.  I had literally gone to school for my entire I felt like many do...that's all I had really known unfortunately, school.  Sometimes I think some people just keep going to school because it's all they've ever known, and it's all they really know how to do.  Sometimes it can be a lot easier than being a grown up and facing reality.  For some people not making any money and living off the government is a lot easier than having to actually earn it on your own.  I mean honestly, if you're getting everything for free...why would you want to change that?  I totally agree, it seems easier.  Being a grown up kinda sucks...sometimes I wonder why I wanted it for so long!  At some point every college student has to visualize where the prize is, and how hard you want to try and reach it.

So now that Sean has finished, the goal is to get a good job.  I guess I was expecting Sean to get a job right when he graduated.  Then I had to remember that it was a good few months after I graduated until I got a "real job".  It just seems like a lot of our family and friends have gotten jobs immediately after graduating, but I have to remind myself that isn't the norm.  Luckily, we aren't starving or in dyer circumstances, so Sean has some time to be a little more selective with his interviews and applications.  He's trying to get the "right job" not just any job.  Everyone does things differently.  In our culture typically, we get married young, have children right away, and rely on the government and/or family for financial support.  For more than one reason, Sean and I have obviously chosen to do things differently.  Neither one is wrong or right, everyone's situation is different and everyone has to do what's right for their own family.  Sometimes it's difficult to say that so simply, when others are so critical of our choices.  I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this way, but I occasionally wonder, what if we HAD done things differently?  What would our life be like?  Sometimes I wonder if I've made things too easy for Sean, and unlike so many others there was no urgency for him to graduate.  Sean hasn't exactly been on a ramen-every-night budget through his college career.  I wonder if things would have turned out differently.  But this is what our situation is, and every family goes through their own ups and downs.

I'm so proud of Sean for graduating college.  Many times he didn't want to finish, but he did, he made it!  I love him so much, and in every way he is the right guy for me.  The last four years have been crazy, and I can't imagine going through them with anyone else.  We're very blessed that I have been able to provide such a good life for us so Sean was a able to finish school.  Everyone says that after having nothing, you appreciate your "somethings" a little more.  I couldn't agree more.  I can remember all too well working in a call center, in a potato factory (one of my more embarrassing jobs, clearly), as an assistant, as a waitress...the list could go on and on.   I love working in a professional environment where I am (mostly) respected, and that I have a passion for.  I have told Sean that he really will appreciate it when he gets a "real job" after having so many crappy ones.  It seems like it was just yesterday we were living in Utah paycheck-to-paycheck and were the epitome of poor.  Obviously I didn't think this at the time, but I'm really glad we went through those times.  I truly believe it makes us so much more grateful for what we have now.  We went through everything  together, and it made us stronger.  It probably would have been easier if we hadn't gone through being deathly poor, but now I'm so glad we did.  (Mostly because it's over) 

So...the job search continues.  So if you happen to have a free few seconds while you're saying your prayers, maybe you could say one for us-that Sean will be able to find a good job.  It's definitely been the latest trial for us.

What a milestone for Sean though, and for our family.  Congrats on graduating college Sean, I love you.  You did it!!!

Soon to be up on the wall!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

We're grown ups, we have a house!

We closed on our house April 24th, and I am finally getting the pictures up!  I was pretty stressed getting the house put together and decorating all the rooms, but it finally has all come together.  Our house isn't huge by any means, I've just never had anything more to decorate than a bedroom and family room, haha!

So I know I talked about a few of our bumps along the house buying road, but now I can finally say it was all worth it!  The main fiasco was obviously the brick.  Sean couldn't care less (shocker) but I was ready to walk.  I think the part the made me the most mad was that no one believed me.  I knew from the minute they laid the first few bricks up that it wasn't right.  I mean seriously, I had looked long and hard at each individual brick sample, and gone up and down the streets looking at all the houses more times than I would like to say, so I think I knew what our brick was supposed to look like.  Sean didn't believe me, the realtor, the construction manager, the Highland leasing agent, and even our friends that I took over!  I was beginning to question if I was crazy myself. 

What ended up happening, (basically because I was raising hell) was we all had a meeting at our house about four weeks before we were supposed to close.  Our realtor, the construction manager, the leasing agent, Sean and I, and the Vice President of Highland homes!  It was a little awkward when we all arrived, because we were just all standing outside of the house making small talk.  Then finally the VP of Highland, Hunter said, "Okay, let's talk about this brick.  It's obviously different."  SERIOUSLY?!!!  This was the first time that anyone had ever agreed with me!  I literally could have hugged him I was so happy/surprised to have someone finally acknowledge that I wasn't crazy/losing my mind.

I had warned Sean on the car ride over to the meeting that I was going to be kind of a biotch.  I told him that I was really unhappy with all of this mess, and that I wasn't going to be afraid to show it.  I told him that I wasn't going to completely embarrass him, but he might not want to be affiliated with me.  

They had done some research and concluded that the error came the brick manufacturer.  The manufacturer had changed the color of the brick, but not the name.  Who does that?   So on paper, they had in fact ordered the correct brick.  But obviously (to only Hunter and myself) the color was different.

 At the meeting Hunter assured us that Highland was going to take responsibility for the error, and hopefully make it up to us somehow.  (The exact thought that went through my mind was CHA-CHING!)  He told us that if we REALLY hated the brick, they would remove it and we could pick another brick of our choice.  They were hesitant on doing that though, he could not guarantee the repercussions that would come from replacing the brick.  Landscaping would have to be redone, most of the windows would have to be replaced, and it was basically going to be a huge mess.

The entire time we were discussing things we could do to correct the erroneous brick, I was just sitting there with my arms folded looking annoyed.   Everyone was suggesting options and I wasn't really saying much.  Hunter interrupted everyone and said to me, "So I can tell that you're not pleased."  I explained that I was definitely not pleased.  I said that if I didn't want to pick out my own brick we would have bought a pre-owned home, which would have been a lot easier, and a lot less money.  I said that we had heard from so many people what a great company Highland was, and that I was honestly a little disappointed.  No one really said anything for a few seconds and then Hunter said that he would do everything in his power to make things right.  He apologized profusely, and he made it clear he was going to help us resolve this problem.  Everyone, including our realtor, said they had never had this happen before, so we were  all going through this process together. 

Hunter said that he wanted us to really love our home, and so if the issue was the look of the outside or curb appeal, we could add stone to the home and/or around the flower beds.  So Sean and I looked at some homes with stone and similar brick colors, and neither of us really liked the look.

Attempt #2.  Possible upgrades to the interior.  Hunter told us to make a "wish list" of some of the things we would like to have upgraded, things that we might have done if money wasn't a factor.  Please.  I invented wish lists.  And believe me, I went to town!  I made the list knowing we weren't going to get everything we were asking for, so maybe if we just got some of the things it wouldn't seem like I was asking for TOO MUCH.  They came back with some of the things I had asked for, free; garage door openers, blinds throughout the  home, wood floors in the entry and dining room, and that was it?!  I was really disappointed that was all they came back with.  We were negotiating through our realtor, so it was a lot of back and forth.  I let them know that I was not happy at all with what they had come back with.  Their "mistake" wasn't just the wrong carpet, or wrong color paint, this was THE BRICK ON OUR HOUSE!  Every day I would drive up and say, "ugh...look at that ugly brick." (By the way I don't think it's ugly at all)  It was a huge error on their part, and that I really thought they would have done more to right their wrong doings.  Totally worked.

They came back with free; beautiful hard wood floors throughout the kitchen, formal dining room, hallways, extended entry, and the entrance to the back patio!  The garage door openers and blinds still, and an amazing stainless steel french door refrigerator WITH the water and ice dispenser!  When we were considering buying one it was over $2000, and it made me a little sick thinking about spending that much money on just one appliance.  I was completely shocked and definitely pleased with everything they were giving us!  Did I mention that the house was completely finished, and that they had to rip up all the carpet and tile that was already placed?  When it was all said and done they "estimated" (which isn't really their cost-it would have been our cost if we purchased it from them) all the upgrades that we had gotten to be over $13,000.  OH. MY. GOSH.  Seriously, we are so blessed. 

I was completely blown away.  You better believe I wrote Hunter a really nice thank you note.  He totally didn't have to give us that much.  He even gave us one more free upgrade (keep reading).  We love our home so much, and it has been one crazy experience!  Enjoy the tour, sorry for the pic overload.

Welcome to our front door!
 I love our flower pots!
Inside the front door...
The view from the front entrance.  Do you like our pretty hardwood floors?  That I finagled for free...

Our hall console table

Our art nook. (This is one of our engagement photos that I've been wanting to blow up for years!  Neither of us are really "snow" people, but I love the mountains in the background...and yes we were freezing that day.)

  When you walk in the front door, our formal dining room is off to the right.  I am in love with the dining room and kitchen nook tables!  They're probably my favorite furnishings we've purchased. :)

These doors lead into the kitchen.  The doors you can see on the left is our pantry, and our laundry room is on the right.

Originally the pantry was less than half this size, and the art nook was actually an opening in the wall for a built in desk.  We decided to upgrade to the extended pantry, and we are SO glad we did.

So our laundry room is a little small, but I don't even care because I LOVE our washer and dryer.  We've been lucky enough to have them furnished in all of our apartments, so these beauties are our first washer and dryer, and I love them! (Yes, I just realized there is actual laundry in them)

If you keep walking you head into our pretty kitchen!  Off to the right is the kitchen nook, and you can see the rest!  The gorgeous hardwood floors start from the extended entry, formal dining room, and into the kitchen and hallways.  I should have been a negotiator, what am I doing cleaning teeth?

Our little kitchen nook.

My favorite part of the tables and chairs.<3 it.

The right side of kitchen, stove, microwave, etc.

Kitchen sink area overlooking the family room.
Left side of sink, the last of the cabinets, next to the fridge.

Apparentely we have a lot of stuff on our fridge already...but don't you think it's still a nice looking FREE fridge?  My favorite part is the ice/water dispenser.  I've never had a fridge like that, and I've always wanted one!
Another pic before I cluttered it up...

 Our family room! View from the kitchen if you keep walking through the house...This room, the master suite, and study are the first ones we painted.  I didn't realize I was going to be so indecisive picking out all the colors.  It's our first house, I had/have no idea what I'm doing!  Right Sarah?! :)

If you keep walking through, this is the wall on your right...the larger of the two.  We are still sporting our old couches, and I really don't mind them.  Sean HATES them, he really wants a sectional...but I don't really think they look that bad.  We'll see...
Fireplace/TV, the focal point of the room. 
If you keep going you'll hit the door to the covered patio/back yard.  I'm not in love with these drapes, they turned out a little 'shinier' than they might not be a keeper.   
 So the covered patio was definitely not a deal breaker while searching for our first home, but it was always something on my wish list!  I'm so happy with it!  I was searching for a while for patio furniture that I really liked.  I never really considered myself a "red person", but I kept coming back to this set.  I loved the way it turned out.  It's not the biggest thing in the world, but there ARE only two of us.  At least for now...

 Sean LOVES our grill.  We've actually used it a lot more than I thought we would.  The whole time we've lived in apartments we've always wanted one, but because we always have moved so often it didn't really make sense.  I think we both would agree it was worth the wait!

Putting the patio to good use...
I'm just a little excited about my flower pots too...'s calling your name.
Overlooking the patio is the BEST PART of the house, our master suite.  This is what sold us in the model.  I love, love, love it.
Our sitting area.  Still undecided on the chairs...they might be replaced too.  Another thumbs down from Sean, boo...
I really like the legs on the little table too...

 When I was working out the final details for all of our free stuff, I told the VP of Highland to not put blinds on the bay windows in the master bedroom, because we were definitely going to be putting plantation shutters in immediately, so it would have been a waste.  When he sent me the final papers to sign for everything he said at the end, "...and I know we hadn't previously discussed it, but given some more light to the situation we've decided to include free plantation shutters in the master for you also." Whhhhhat?!!!!  I didn't even ask for them, we were completely shocked and obviously thrilled.  It would have been close to $1500 just for those three windows.  Seriously, we are so blessed.
Our bed/new bedding!  I know it may not look like much.  But I had been on the hunt for a new duvet cover for quite some time.  I ended up finding it at Pottery Barn, which usually is a little out of the budget.  I had searched for so long, and was so in love with this cover I didn't even care.  I came home with numerous Pottery Barn bags and Sean looked scared.  He asked me what I had bought.  I told him that I finally found a new duvet cover and that I really really liked it.  He asked me how much I spent, and I told him there was no way I was going to tell him.  He said, "really Becky, how much was it?"  I said, "I'm seriously too embarrassed, I don't even want to talk about it." He just laughed and said ok.  Thank you God for sending me an easy going husband.  I still haven't told him how much it was to this day...and I probably never will.  I'm a little appalled myself.
Do you think I have enough pillows?  It's a problem...I know.

Sean finally got a flat screen for the bedroom...and his own dresser.
The TV is conveniently aimed at the bed and Sean's sitting area so he can have a seat while I get ready.
Going into the master bath...(sorry I feel like this is dragging on, but I was given specific instructions to take pictures of everything!)
Double may have saved our marriage. :)

Soaking tub!
I love my little sitting area portion of the vanity.  I use it every day!
Sean's side (notice the fan is on that side)
My side.  And yes, I know you're wondering, that IS the new Oral B Triumph Smartseries 5000.  What can I say?  My crest rep loves me, I got it for free. :)
 Relax. Refresh. thoughts exactly.
Our stand up shower.  It is a little tight with both of us in there.  More motivation to slim down?
The toilet closet.
So clearly I went with the "bathtub" theme for decorating the bathrooms.  Sean was a hater once again, but I like it. Thoughts?   P.s. I love all the extra storage.  Clearly a woman designed this home.  (A woman actually does design Highland/horizon homes)
Of course my clothes are length/color coordinated.
 And about once every two weeks I have to fix Sean's clothes too...
I may or may not have asked Sean to take this picture...It's the first time in our entire marraige where we have been able to fit ALL of our clothes together.  I don't even have to rotate them out of storage bins seasonally.  That's reason enough to buy a house. :)
Sean joked that I was in love with this closet...he may be right. 

If you go back through the family room, on the other side of the house are the rest of the bedrooms.  They finally got our fireplace right. :)
I think it turned out nicely...
The hallway from the entrance to the study/guest bedrooms.

 View from kitchen into study.
Sean in the office.
Of course he HAD to have another TV in there.
This picture was from my Dad's dental office.  I don't know if you can read it, but it says "Dentist upstairs" which really has a new meaning now. We had it up at his funeral and wake too.  My Mom let me have a lot of stuff from his Chicago and Indiana practice, and this is one of my favorites.  I told Sean the office was the one room he could decorate however he wanted to, and he was sweet enough to suggest putting this up. Love him.
 Sean likes to call this "mega desk".  Who knows...
Hallway into guest bedroom and workout room.

Our cute guest bedroom.  It's not the biggest room in the world, but we still like it.

Oh, the arguments that ensued over this headboard.  Was it worth it? Absolutely. 
When Aunt Marlys came over to see our house, she said that she had the same pictures!  Great minds think alike..

These were the old drapes from our apartment, I can be thrifty...right?!
I'm not really into the "distressed" look, and so when I found this end table I asked this person if they had any more tables that weren't damaged.  He said that's the way they're actually made-I know, people ask me that all the time.  Then I asked, "Well can I still get a discount because it looks damaged?"  He shrugged and said, "Sure, why not."  You never know unless you ask!
Exiting the guest bedroom, going back into the hallway is the linen closet.  Linen closet?!  It's the little things after apartment living that make me happy.
On your right before hitting the workout room is the guest bathroom.  Double sinks in here too?!  Genius.
I like how there is a door for the shower/toilet area.
The paint color is the same as the family room and the workout room.  More bathtubs, I know...

Close ups of the vanity area
I WORK OUT!!!  (Chelse and Rachel, that was for you)
Sean really wanted a heavy bag, and surprisingly...they're pretty cheap.  If we EVER argued (which we clearly never do) this is where you would find me-punching this bag.  So, good thing we never argue.  :)
I may or may not have splurged a little bit on this treadmill, totally worth it though.  I really wish I liked running outside, but I hate to admit that I still get a little scared running in the dark by myself.  Yes, I am 26 years old.  Sad, I know...

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see... Everybody know the rest...
Back out into the hallway...
If you keep walking down the hallway, the entrance to the garage is on your right.  Thanks for the housewarming gift Paige!  "P" is for Paige, and coincidentally "Packard" too. :)

We have a garage!  Everyone knows what my favorite part of the house is, but this is definitely Sean's favorite.  I will say it is nice not having to search for a parking spot to get into your own house!

The weekend after we moved in, Sean did this epoxy coating on the garage floor.  He was pretty excited about it, and I will say-it looks pretty sweet.

A lot of blood, sweat, tears have gone into the house...literally.  It has been a lot of hard work, and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come.  We debated whether or not to get a house this year, or to just keep saving up.  I'm really glad we did it this year, obviously things may have not worked out the way they did if we had waited.
 I'm not a very good saver (shocker I know) so it's a good thing Sean is.  We have been saving hard core for a really long time.  It was really hard for me to save this much money, and not go and buy other things we may have wanted or needed.  If nothing else, it has been a really good lesson for me that if you work hard enough for something, you can get it.  I think sometimes it's hard to see others get things so easily.  A lot of people just get things handed to them, and sometimes it seems like they don't have to work as hard.  It wasn't an option for us to have our parents co-sign for us on our mortgage, or just give us our closing costs (which can I say is an absurd amount of money?!), or buy us things to furnish or home, or really get any type of that kind of help just given to us.  I feel that sometimes I can become a little bitter about it, but really I am just envious-haha!  It obviously would have been A LOT easier for us to just get everything handed to us.  
But now that it's all said and done I am so grateful that we were able to do it all on our own.  It helped us grow together as a couple SO MUCH.  Sean helped me realize some of the ways that we are so so blessed, and I helped him to realize it's ok to spend a little money sometimes :).  We make a good team.  We can honestly say that this is OUR HOME.  We did it all by ourselves, and we did it together.  I have never seen a house go up from the ground up, and it was such a cool experience.  I love everything about our house, and I honestly feel so grateful for being able to make it a home.  I hope we are here for years to come, and can't wait to see what the future holds for us and our little family.