Well, I'm not the only one in my family married anymore! My big brother, John just got married last weekend. His new wife, Chelsey is from the Las Vegas area, so they got married in the Vegas temple. It was fun to go out there for the wedding, it's been forever since we have been to Vegas. Like most of the time our siblings have gotten married, it was the first time we had ever met Chelsey. She seems like a really sweet girl, and most importantly she makes John happy. We're so happy for them!
Thursday we had a little time during the day to get some things done, and a few minutes to lay by the pool. Clearly, Sean and I didn't have our swim suits. But all Sean really needs are shorts, so I basically looked ridiculous. :)
Dan laying by the pool
Nice, I know.
It was one of the older hotels near the strip, but it was still be nice to be laying by a pool, and getting paid to do nothing. :)
Chris and Daniel.
Dan wearing his classy Vegas shirt.
Getting some food before off to the temple.
My Mom, John, Sean, and I all went to the temple for Chelsey's endowment session Thursday night.
Most of you know my middle name is Dalzell. I know it sounds a little weird, but it was my Great Grandma's maiden name (on my Dad's side). My Dad was very close to her, she actually lived with them towards the end of her life. There is a Scottish print called the "Dalzell print", which my Dad had a few items of. One of these items was the tie Sean is wearing. Since he's passed away my Mom has given away a good majority of his personal belongings. John took a lot of his ties, including this one. My Dad talked about this tie a lot, and I think John knew how much it meant to me. That night when we were getting ready he gave it to me, and as soon as Sean saw my face he started changing his tie and put this one on. I know it may sound like something stupid, but it meant a lot to me.
Wedding day!
Waiting for the newlyweds to come out!
Don't they look good in their tuxes?
This was my first time at the Vegas Temple, so pretty!
Their sealing was nice. Obviously, my Dad wasn't there to be one of the witnesses. John's mission president flew in from Alaska to be his "Dad" for the day. He was the one who relayed all the information to John when my Dad was sick, and when he passed away. A lot of stuff he told my Mom he wasn't going to tell John, so that he could stay focused on the work. I guess that's why he was so confused when my Mom had to tell John our Dad had passed away.
I've only been to one other sealing where a parent had passed away. One of my best friends, Chelse got married about a year after we did. It was one of the most special sealings I have ever been to. The sealer talked so much about her Dad, and really made a huge effort to recognize him and his presence there. I wasn't expecting the temple sealer to do that with John and Chelsey's sealing, but I at least thought he would mention him. As usual I was bawling my eyes out, and my Uncle even turned to me and asked, "Why are you crying so much?" REALLY? Why do you think? The whole weekend I was just wishing that he could be there, how he would have been so proud of John and for all the changes he's made in his life. For those of you who have met John he is the SPITTING IMAGE of my Dad. Not just his looks, but his mannerisms and all the weird little habits my Dad had. And unfortunately that's all I could think about during their sealing too. I just miss him so badly every day, but as I suspected, it was so much worse this weekend. He should have been there. When everyone was giving them hugs and congratulating them, I went and sat next to my Mom because she was sitting all by herself. She said that she was saving the seat for my Dad. It's like everyone else had just forgotten about him, and that's all my family was thinking about. They "care", but they're not hurting on the inside like we are. We have this gaping hole in our lives, and everyone else has just moved on.
Missing you Dad.
Some of my Mom's family that came out for the wedding.
If they only knew how to be serious...
They did it! They're married!
Family
Some cute pics from my phone
You would think by this point in my life I would have matured, and that I wouldn't get my feelings hurt so easily. You would think that being a sister-in-law to Sean's sisters that I would stop feeling left out at weddings. It was so important to me at our wedding that no one feel left out, because I had been before, and I knew how it felt. I had all of my brothers and Sean's brothers wear tuxes, and they were all groomsmen. I had ALL of Sean's sisters be my bridesmaids, there were more of them then my actual friends. My Mom even told me I didn't need to ask EVERYONE to be in the wedding, because he had so many sisters, and I didn't even really know them. But I didn't care, I just didn't want them to feel left out. Well obviously my Mom was right, no one else really cares about that stuff. Which has become very clear to me over the years, going to siblings and friends weddings.
Maybe it hurt a little more this time because all of my brothers were in the wedding, and I was the only one who wasn't. I was thinking since I'm his only sister that it might have been a nice gesture, but obviously not. I have just felt that we've really helped John throughout the years, and especially since he's become active in the church again. I almost feel like he's just been another one of my little brothers that I've had to be an example for and help out in more ways than one. We're the ones who dropped him off at the MTC, my parents didn't even come, haha! I guess I just felt like out of all my brothers who would want to include me in their special day, it would have been him. Obviously it's her wedding too, and she really picks the majority of things.
I was just feeling extra lonely because my Dad wasn't there. A lot of the pictures would be with the parents and the wedding party, so I was just literally standing looking at them by myself. John had bought a nice new camera for Chelsey as a wedding gift and had asked Sean to take pictures of everything in addition to the photographer. And Sean being the nice guy that he is said yes, so he was even up there too! The worst part was actually at the reception. They (like most Mormon weddings) did a receiving line. And like most of the pictures from the day before, it was just the wedding party and the parents of the bride and groom standing in the line.
Obviously I don't know Chelsey and don't have to be in the wedding party, but someone could have at least asked me to be up there with all my family. My brothers knew just as many people as I did! In fact, they didn't even care about being in the wedding. John had asked Chris to say a few words if they had a best man speech, and Chris called me and told me how weird he felt about the whole situation. He thought it was weird that John had asked him, because they aren't even close. I was literally just sitting by myself at the reception for the whole hour they were doing the line. Even some of my Uncles would come up to me and ask me why I wasn't up there. I haven't felt that alone, or left out in a long time.
They had their reception the next day.
Chelsey and my Mom
Mother/son dance
The four of us!
After the wedding festivities were over, it was off to the strip!
Some escalator pics
Treasure Island. We got to see some of the end of the performance.
I always love seeing the Bellagio fountain show.
I've always wanted to go on the roller-coaster on the strip, and we finally did it!
(Hence our crazy hair)
At the New York New York
Dan REALLY wanted a picture of this guy from Transformers!
Totally random awesome bonus to the weekend! Sean's little sister Michelle is getting married next weekend, and took her endowments out the weekend we were in Vegas--at the Vegas temple!!! We haven't been able to go to any of his sisters' first sessions, and it was so nice to be able to be there.
Look how cute they are!
Over the course of the weekend I had multiple breakdowns, but all in all I'm glad we went. One of my friends who has lost a close parent has told me not to believe that crap that people say all the time. Like, "it gets easier" and all those cliche little sayings. She said it doesn't get easier, it's always hard. It only gets more manageable.
I'm so glad we could be there to support John and Chelsey. We're so glad they were able to be married for time and all eternity in the temple. Congrats John and Chelsey!!!
5 comments:
ok one, i love that you always post a million pics of whatever it is you're blogging about. creates the scene well :)
two, love all of your dresses.
three, i haven't had a parent pass away before (um duh, you see them more than i do) so i have no idea what you're going through, but i'm so sorry you are going through it, and that events like this will forever be bittersweet for you. i'm sure the rest of your family hasn't forgotten about your dad, i think it's just awkward for people to know what to say or how to say it, so it's just easier to not acknowledge it all. i think people don't like talking about anything emotional or possibly touchy, sad, etc because it's just plain uncomfortable to talk about emotions! i think i notice that because i tend to be one of the few who are not afraid to talk about death or emotions because of my job, i'm around it all of the time, so it's easier for me to approach people about it. unfortunately :/
four, i didn't ask steve's sisters to be bridesmaids because i just honestly didn't even think about it!! is that bad?? oops! but still....receptions/temple picture taking can be super awkward if you don't have a lot of extras sitting around with you, TOTALLY get it. I felt several pangs of awkardness at janene and aaron's wedding because everyone was married except for me and my little underage siblings. talk about a blow to the self-esteem...ok this is forever long, love ya
I'm so sorry about the awkwardness and loneliness. Obviously I can't relate to losing a parent or the feelings you had, but at least know you're not the first person to feel lonely at a wedding. I have spent many weddings excited for my friends and at the same time feeling incredibly awkward because I'm there by myself. Sometimes I get lucky and might have another friend there (like you and Sean at Chelse's wedding) but I have been to others where I literally am just a random who sort of knows the family of the bride but not really anyone else. I can't tell you how many awkward questions I've gotten. (Seriously, go to a wedding solo in Idaho past the age of 22 and it's like you're a sideshow act for being single.) The thing I've decided is, bottom line, people mean well with their questions, but a lot of times they're just idiots.
My opinion is, the best thing for you to do is take it as a lesson and remember how you feel, so in the future when you see someone in the position you're in, you can treat them how you wish you would have been treated. You can be someone else's little angel and lift them up. :)
We were married in the Las Vegas Temple...so beautiful! Sorry to hear about all the emotions and hard feelings. I'm with ya: I included my sisters-in-law even though I wasn't close to them at all. Some things are just courteous!
I don't know about the others, but I appreciated being involved in your wedding. I get the feeling of being left out, I wish that happened much less than it does. Thank you, for not doing that to me. You are awesome and I love you!
Oh, Becky you're precious... I'm always humbled by the posts about your dad. <3
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