Sunday, July 22, 2012

Life as a sugar momma.

A picture is worth a thousand words.  Sean finally graduated in May with his Bachelor's degree.  Yes, that is the sound of angels singing.  Graduating from college is hard work.  It is definitely something to be commended for.  Everyone always says it will be worth it, but when you're in class wanting to poke your eyes out...it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I can definitely say it is worth it.

Sean's college career hasn't been the easiest ride.  Obviously being LDS, and serving a full time mission pushed him back two years.  Then Sean took a year off when we got married so that I wouldn't have to work 35+hours a week anymore, and so I wouldn't fail my dental hygiene boards.  I will forever be indebted to him for that, it was the biggest blessing to just be able to study every night and not have to worry about work.  After I graduated (right in the midst of one of our country's worst economic recessions) we moved back to Rexburg so Sean could finish school.  Unfortunately Idaho is the butt hole of America and there are ZERO jobs (even if you're not a dental hygienist).  So we came to Texas in hope of us being able to have a better life for our little family.  I LOVE TEXAS.  Seriously, why don't more people live here?  Finally something seemed to be working out for us...HAHA...wrong again.

Sean was promised by multiple advisors that all of his classes would transfer except for his religion classes...nope, didn't happen.  Sean was only 3-4 semesters away from getting his degree at BYU-Idaho.  It ended up taking 6.  Seriously, he has had some of the WORST advisors at UNT. He was told 2 times that he only needed 1-2 more classes to graduate, then after completing them at the end of the semester(s) and not graduating, he was told he still needed more classes.  There was 3 semesters that were supposed to be his "last semester".  Seriously...transferring schools is awful.  I don't recommend it if you can help it.  Alas, Sean finally graduated in May and that hurdle has been officially jumped.  Even though on the computer it said he was done, I wanted to see it on paper so that if someone happened to change their mind again I would have something to show them.

For those of you who know Sean he is not a flashy person.  He didn't want me to send out graduation announcements (but hello you get free money?!), he didn't want to have any type of graduation party (clearly we are so different, because after I graduated I wanted to shout it from the rooftops), and sadly he didn't want to "walk" and receive his diploma.  His parents wouldn't come out for it anyways, and I guess that's one of the main reasons you do those types of things.  I encouraged him for a little while about doing it, because as any wife probably feels I feel like I earned part of that diploma too!  Sean definitely earned part of mine!  God only knows the things that boy had to put up with while I was studying for boards, I literally have never been more stressed out in my life.  Seriously, I thought I was developing an ulcer.   I am definitely a believer that the whole family is invested in ones diploma.  But after all it was his graduation, and sadly he decided not to take part in it.

So he's graduated, now what?  Everyone knows the reason you become educated and go to college is to get a good job.  One of my biggest issues with "going to college" is that no one really talks about what happens afterwards.  It's so socially acceptable to just "go off to college" after you graduate from high school.  And until you're in your 20 somethings (or older) that's all we've ever known...school.  Like a lot of people, I went to college straight out of high school to college and graduated at 22.  I had literally gone to school for my entire life...so I felt like many do...that's all I had really known unfortunately, school.  Sometimes I think some people just keep going to school because it's all they've ever known, and it's all they really know how to do.  Sometimes it can be a lot easier than being a grown up and facing reality.  For some people not making any money and living off the government is a lot easier than having to actually earn it on your own.  I mean honestly, if you're getting everything for free...why would you want to change that?  I totally agree, it seems easier.  Being a grown up kinda sucks...sometimes I wonder why I wanted it for so long!  At some point every college student has to visualize where the prize is, and how hard you want to try and reach it.

So now that Sean has finished, the goal is to get a good job.  I guess I was expecting Sean to get a job right when he graduated.  Then I had to remember that it was a good few months after I graduated until I got a "real job".  It just seems like a lot of our family and friends have gotten jobs immediately after graduating, but I have to remind myself that isn't the norm.  Luckily, we aren't starving or in dyer circumstances, so Sean has some time to be a little more selective with his interviews and applications.  He's trying to get the "right job" not just any job.  Everyone does things differently.  In our culture typically, we get married young, have children right away, and rely on the government and/or family for financial support.  For more than one reason, Sean and I have obviously chosen to do things differently.  Neither one is wrong or right, everyone's situation is different and everyone has to do what's right for their own family.  Sometimes it's difficult to say that so simply, when others are so critical of our choices.  I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this way, but I occasionally wonder, what if we HAD done things differently?  What would our life be like?  Sometimes I wonder if I've made things too easy for Sean, and unlike so many others there was no urgency for him to graduate.  Sean hasn't exactly been on a ramen-every-night budget through his college career.  I wonder if things would have turned out differently.  But this is what our situation is, and every family goes through their own ups and downs.

I'm so proud of Sean for graduating college.  Many times he didn't want to finish, but he did, he made it!  I love him so much, and in every way he is the right guy for me.  The last four years have been crazy, and I can't imagine going through them with anyone else.  We're very blessed that I have been able to provide such a good life for us so Sean was a able to finish school.  Everyone says that after having nothing, you appreciate your "somethings" a little more.  I couldn't agree more.  I can remember all too well working in a call center, in a potato factory (one of my more embarrassing jobs, clearly), as an assistant, as a waitress...the list could go on and on.   I love working in a professional environment where I am (mostly) respected, and that I have a passion for.  I have told Sean that he really will appreciate it when he gets a "real job" after having so many crappy ones.  It seems like it was just yesterday we were living in Utah paycheck-to-paycheck and were the epitome of poor.  Obviously I didn't think this at the time, but I'm really glad we went through those times.  I truly believe it makes us so much more grateful for what we have now.  We went through everything  together, and it made us stronger.  It probably would have been easier if we hadn't gone through being deathly poor, but now I'm so glad we did.  (Mostly because it's over) 

So...the job search continues.  So if you happen to have a free few seconds while you're saying your prayers, maybe you could say one for us-that Sean will be able to find a good job.  It's definitely been the latest trial for us.

What a milestone for Sean though, and for our family.  Congrats on graduating college Sean, I love you.  You did it!!!

Soon to be up on the wall!

3 comments:

Ambrose Family said...

Congrats on Graduation! It's a lot of work, especially having to move a couple of times; I had the same problem with trying to transfer from BYU-I. I will be praying for you both that Sean will get a job quickly.

Rae said...

Wahoo! Congrats Sean and Becky!!!
It is SO true. NO ONE tells you what to do when you graduate. As much BYUIdaho pride as I have, that is my one gripe. There was no prep for graduation and those months after that time were the hardest in my life. I'm not blaming the school entirely, I just think it was a complete disservice that we weren't required to do an internship. Don't get me wrong, it's no one's job to find me a job but me, but I think the advisers could have done things a little differently. Hopefully as they grow they will.
Best of luck to Sean with the job hunt, it is a complete b.

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